Chapter Five

[Start the tale from the start here.]

“Where is he?” Gus shouted. “Show yourself, you brazen impostor.”

No one responded.

“I told you Gus…he’s in the closet playing poker.”

“You don’t know what this man is capable of. You should be on your guard at all times. Stand back Mira!” Gus spat directions as he inched towards the closet. Suddenly he stopped dead in his tracks. The closet door slowly swung open. There was a bright light beaming across the floor.

“Its beautiful,” Gus said motioning to the light.

“Its just my closet light,” Mira started but Gus put up his hand to stop her as he took notice of the man now crawling out of her closet.

God shuffled across the floor still in search of his precious bowtie when he suddenly noticed that there was a limp little man standing over him. God pulled himself from off the floor and hovered over Gus.

Gus took a look at the six-foot tall man in the disheveled tuxedo scratching his full head of curly hair and he dropped his outstretched arm to his side and relaxed.

“Your not God, your just some guy in my daughter’s closet.”

“Let me guess…this is the famed Gus. And from the sounds of it, you told him who I was. I thought we discussed this,” God frowned at Mira.

“Of course I’m Gus. Who are you?”

God ignored the question and walked past Gus straight over to Miranda, “You ruined all my fun. You shouldn’t have brought him into the picture.”

“You didn’t want me to tell him you were up here. But something that doesn’t exist isn’t really here. So you’re not really here for me to hide from my father.”

“But I am here. You’re talking to me kiddo.”

For a moment, this strange man held Gus in awe and he inched towards him to slowly finger his coat.

“I know that. But Ron says God doesn’t exist and Ron is always right. So if you’re God, then you don’t exist, so that means you’re not really here, so I’m not really in trouble for telling Gus that a man that isn’t really here is in my bedroom.”

“I exist,” God said slapping Gus’s hand from off his coattails. 

“No you don’t,” Gus announced snapping back from his moment of wonder. “You don’t exist. You’re not God.”

“This is between me and Miranda,” God swished Gus away with his hand.

“Look here Mister, who are you to tell me what to do in my own home and what business do you have with my daughter?” Gus prickled up.

God swiveled around so that he was smack dab in the front of Gus and glared deep into his eyes, “Who I am is none of your business! So just leave us alone.” His gaze sparked with fire and shook Gus to the core.

Suddenly Gus’ eyes went blank like glass then recovered like the slots in a slot machine. An enlightened smile passed over Gus’ face. Quite serenely Gus looked up into God’s eyes and said, “Why, you are him, aren’t you? You’re God.”

“Jesus Christ, I’ve done it again, haven’t I? I really need to learn how to control that. Stupid eyes. Stupid, stupid eyes,” God berated himself. He quickly turned back to Gus, “No, no. I’m not God. You’ve got it all wrong. I’m just some guy.”

“But you said you were God,” Mira piped up.

God spun back around and leaned over, “Shhhh. Don’t worry about it—“

“I knew it. You’re God. Here in this here house,” Gus said with the same sense of awe.

God was at a loss. He swiveled back and forth between Miranda and her father, not sure what to do next, when out of nowhere, Damascus Lukenglasse’s face went blank and he fell to the floor in a dead faint.


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