Chapter Six

[Start the from the first chapter here]

God and Miranda stood over Gus’ limp body passed out on the ground, neither really sure what to do next.

“What happened?” Mira asked looking desperately up to God for answers.

“The usual.” God leaned over to take Gus’ pulse. “He’s alive. That’s a good sign. Sometimes they just up and die.”

“What do you mean die?”

“Look kid, don’t pester me with questions. Help me get him downstairs before he wakes up. Maybe he won’t remember any of this,” God picked up Gus’ arms and tried dragging him towards the door.

Miranda didn’t move. “Who dies?” 

“Kiddo, I’m going to need your help here.”

She didn’t move.

God dropped Gus’ arms to the ground, “Okay, I see how it’s going to be. To some people, beside you, I’m kind of a big deal. And when they see me, or talk to me, or have some sort of experience near me, it’s a…a…touching moment, or something like that.” God could tell that Miranda was not pleased with this explanation. “Look, kid, sometimes it’s just too much for the everyday human, they pass out or they pass on.” He picked up Gus’ arms again.

“Pass on to where?” Miranda asked as she grabbed her father’s legs and scooted him out into the hall with God. 

“To, you know, the afterlife, the beyond. My great abode in the sky, some call it Heaven, but that’s—“ God grunted taking the main weight.

“What’s Heaven?” Mira interrupted.

“Jeez kid you don’t know anything do you?” God tugged and moved Gus that much closer to the stairs when a door flew open next to Miranda and a lanky fifteen-year old Korean boy exited the room.

At the sight of a strange man and Miranda dragging a comatose Gus towards the stairs, Ron’s mouth fell open and he dropped the books he was carrying to the ground.

“Hey Ron, whatcha doin?” Miranda asked innocently.

“Wha…what am I doing? What are you doing? Whose that?”

“God, like I told you. He was just about to tell me about Heaven.”

“There’s no such thing as Heaven,” Ron stated matter-of-factly without taking his eyes from Gus’ limp body.

“Oh yes there is kid,” God answered keeping his eyes on his task at hand. “For a small man, he sure is heavy.” God looked up and noticed Miranda sitting on her father’s legs twirling her hair and sticking it into her mouth. “Miranda! A little help.”

“This is boring. Can’t we just leave him here?” She got up and poked at her father’s feet.

Ron finally broke from his shock and dashed over to Mira. “What’s going on here? What happened to Gus? What has this man done?”

“Look kid, don’t worry about it. I was just on my way out. We’re going to get him downstairs and leave everything as it was.”

“No we’re not. I’m going to call the cops is what I’m going to do. And you’re not going anywhere,” Ron turned down the hall and headed towards the phone.

“Can you two stop arguing? I want to hear more about this Heaven place. Can I get French fries there?” Miranda asked but no one was listening. God had dropped Gus’ arms back to the ground leaving the man’s head dangling over the first couple of stairs and followed Ron.

“Oh no you’re not bucko. I don’t need that kind of trouble here,” God yanked the phone away from Ron.

“Don’t hurt me,” Ron backed up and put his hands up ready to spar. “I don’t know what you did here but I know what it looks like and I will not let you hurt me or Miranda.”

“I don’t plan on hurting anyone. I just came to play poker. Gus is fine. He just passed out.”

“Oh sure. I’ll believe that one when bowling balls fall at the same rate of feathers outside a vacuum. Give me that phone.”

“Why won’t anyone tell me about Heaven!” Miranda yelled from her corner.

“Not now!” both Ron and God yelled at the same time yanking the phone between the two of them.

God dropped the phone and stepped back. “You know what, I guess I made a bad decision staying here. I don’t need this. I’m just going to go home. You do whatever you want with Damascus over there. I’m leaving.”

“Like I said you aren’t going anywhere,” Ron furiously tapped his fingers across the dial, plugging in 9-1-1 as fast as he could.

While God was glaring at Ron, daring him to finish that phone call, he didn’t notice that young Miranda Lukenglasse had snuck back into her room, quite stealthily, with a mission at hand.

“Hello, I have an intruder here at 134 Berry Tree Lane,” Ron spoke clearly into the telephone.

“Fine,” God grumbled as he turned away and marched back to Miranda’s room, leaving Gus passed out in the hall. God was so annoyed with this ordeal that he remained oblivious to the fact that Miranda was not in the hall, nor the bedroom. He walked back into that closet, slammed the door and with one swift command, wished himself to return home. Only at the last minute did he notice a chubby little hand grab onto the tails of his coat. By that point it was too late, God, and now Miranda Lukenglasse, were on their way to the afterlife together, and there was nothing God could do about it.


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